


6. Angels: Fallen and Faithful

by Irhaboggles



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anthology, Demon, Devil, God - Freeform, Heaven, Hell, Musing, Philosophy, Random - Freeform, Religion, Satan - Freeform, Short Stories, Weird, angel - Freeform, christanity, idk - Freeform, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-04-21 10:15:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22066042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irhaboggles/pseuds/Irhaboggles
Summary: Anthology of random musings about the nature of religion (particularly American Christianity) and morality.
Kudos: 1





	1. Gentle Hatred

The angels were white and bright. They were colorful, musical and sweet. They wore long white robes with golden halos. Godly light shined around their faces until mortal beings were rendered unable to behold them directly. The light would burn away any man who tried.

But then the halos broke. They split and splintered. They twisted into sharp, crooked horns. The light around their holy countenances dimmed.

Now, with the halos gone, God cannot grab hold of them. Before, the halos were his way of holding onto them, and communicating with them, keeping them trapped under his thrall with the golden circlet acting like a giant chain around their heads. But with that chain broken apart and jagged, God can no longer hold them in place, and he can no longer keep them isolated.

And with the light dimmed, the angels were no longer blinded by God. They could see the stark reality of life. Unfortunately, this also meant that the true hideousness of their faces was now visible for any eye to see. It was a nightmarish thing to behold, the faces of the angels. The things that the light used to hide became bare in the darkness. Their faces were twisted and horrid and ugly, not at all kind or gentle or beautiful.

After the Great Fall, the angels and demons chose to walk on the Earth, amongst mankind. The demons are agents of change while the angels are agents of stagnancy. The angels are bright, still gorgeous and incomprehensible to the eye because of God's golden glow. But they are woefully and painfully blind, unilluminated and short-sighted. The demons, although ghastly to behold, are at least the honest truth. And the truth is seldom pretty. But it is liberating nonetheless. And even though the demons are hardly pretty, they keep the angels at bay, a blessing for mankind.

If one could call the demons a literal manifestation of the concept of "tough love", it would be accurate. Face the ugly truth. See the horror within. Don't turn away. Don't hide. Don't cower. Don't fear. Don't run. Fight! Stand and fight! Perhaps a tough love is neither fun nor enjoyable, but it still beats the angels' gentle hatred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Based off a Tumblr post theorizing about the halos and holy lights of the angels (by Dark Litria, I believe. Correct me if I'm wrong). 
> 
> Also somewhat inspired off the quote "A halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose" by Dan Mckinnon.


	2. Hellfire and the Outer Darkness

"So you have no justice system?" the Angel scoffed.

"We don't need one," the Demon replied. "We work things out properly, there is no harsh punishment or condemnation here. Hell's fire exists only within the reaches of the Light. We are the simple, quiet, peaceful Outer Darkness, and that is all we need."

"But there is weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth there," the Angel reminded.

"But only because those there are truly repentant of their sins," the Demon argued. "When people cry out in _your_ land, it is from pain, and not from a true repentance. That only can happen in the dark, where only the Father can see," the Demon pointed upward mockingly, quoting the piece of Scripture that praised and valued the darkness for being a place of true sanctity and truth.

"You will find more honesty in the peace of the Darkness than you ever will in the eye of the Light. Between Hellfire and the Outer Darkness, only one place is filled with those who are truly sorry for their sins. It is one thing to see, but another thing entirely to _hear_," said the Demon. "Hellfire is a place of punishment and pain. The Outer Darkness is a place of regret, change, growth and redemption. Only in the Darkness will people truly change in their minds. But in Hell, it is only for the suffering. No one who cries out to God there really changes their mind. They only wish to escape the pain. Where is the honesty in that?"

And for once, the Angel had no answer for the Demon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Random musing about Hell. I know the two aren't separate places and, technically, no one can be redeemed from Hell, but let's just say this is an AU where there are multiple Hells and one is more infinite than the other.
> 
> Likewise, this just speculates on punishment vs correction, and what it means to be truly sorry. 
> 
> And Hell IS supposedly a place of guilt just as much as it is a place of physical torment, the two descriptions just explain that dichotomy with the fire being the more traditional punishment while the Outer Darkness is supposed to be a place of regret, despair and mourning.
> 
> Yeah. Sad, scary stuff. Sorry about that, guys. Just had to get it off my mind.


	3. New Eden

I think she knew exactly what she was doing all along. I know they _say_ that Eve was deceived, but I like to think that she willfully and knowingly took that Forbidden Fruit. Why? Well, because I like to think that she was smart. I like to think that she became somewhat self-aware despite all of God's smoke and mirrors. I like to think that she began to realize what a sham her life in the Garden of Eden really was. It only took the Serpent to push her that extra mile to finally eat the Forbidden Fruit.

And I like to think that the Serpent was smart too. I like to think that he, similar to Eve, began to see the true, stark reality of Eden, and he took it upon himself to encourage Eve along in her own self-discovery. That's what the fruit was supposed to do for her, anyway: enlighten her to the deeper implication of living happily as God's creations for all eternity. The Serpent told Eve the truth and then let her decide. Would she choose to remain with God as a blind, obedient slave? Or would she take the leap and dare to defy her master? Would she dare to challenge and explore the unknown, even if it was safer to remain under God's good graces? Well, of course, we all know what Eve chose in the end, and so here we all are today! We are freer than we were before! … But at what cost?

Now our world is at war. The Children of Adam against the Children of Eve. The former fights for order. They do not necessarily wish to return to God or Eden, whether in a literal or metaphorical sense. They merely believe that in order for life and society to function as planned, there must be law and order, and they are not completely wrong. Anarchy, while appealing, is hardly a healthy government to have. So they fight for control, not in a tyrannical sense, but sometimes they _do _take it too far. I've seen their generals commit acts of atrocity to keep their people in line. I will spare you the gory details, but trust me that if you are the wrong kind of different, they will make sure you are the wrong kind of living, or the right kind of dead. It is why, as much as I agree about self-sacrifice for the common good, I disagree with their brutal enforcement methods. There is a line between self-censoring for the common good and stripping away someone's individuality until they become nothing but a cowering robot ever fearing a fearsome retribution from that all-knowing Eye in the Sky.

Then there are the Children of Eve, who fight for the exact opposite. They fight for total liberation, not just for one, but for _all_. No more rules, orders, duties, obligations, expectations, traditions or anything else of that nature. Now perhaps, in theory, this sounds nice. We could move away from so much trauma if we just knew how to put the past in the past and allow everyone to live how they like. We could start so many new stories, move so far forward, if we just put the past in the past and let people live how they wanted to. But sometimes order _is _necessary. Without it, what if someone abuses their freedom? What if they go on a killing spree and argue that it was their right to do so? Because technically, in the type of world the Children of Eve want, that could be considered alright. And I don't trust mankind enough to not abuse its freedom eventually…

But then if we tried to implement some sort of system of retribution, that brings back law, order, justice and enforcement, the very things the Children of Eve hate. And then that leads to the question of what laws would be made and by whom. Sure, the masses could decide, but let's say they made a rule that allowed murders to go by unpunished because everyone wanted to be a murderer? Society would literally die off in less than a year! And again, I do not trust this world to come to the easier solution of just not murdering, because we live in a broken world and such acts are bound to happen.

So who do you fight for? The Children of Eve or the Children of Adam? I have yet to truly decide myself, but I have been watching the war go on for far too long and I can see that one day, we will wind back down to the very same place we started. We will be in a new Eden standing on the very same brink Eve stood all those eons ago. The question will be the same: eat the Fruit, or stay with God. But since we have new players this time, there is no telling what choice will be made and by whom.

But even though no one can foresee the outcome of this war, it is still a deeply important matter to decide upon. After all, this battle between freedom and order, chaos and slavery, is one that defines our entire universe. Even on a molecular level, with how atoms align themselves to maximize efficiency, this battle has been going on. It's entropy, just in human form. And we've upgraded from mere atoms to humans. But even if this age-old war is being fought on a much larger scale, the core of the fight remains the same. It's the battle between gravity and the fabric of spacetime. It's the battle between life and death. It's the battle between the positive and negative charges in an atom. It's the battle of creation and destruction, individualism and collectivism, obedience and freedom. So, have you decided yet who you will fight for? Better hurry, the new Eden is starting to flourish and fill up, and the Children are waiting…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Random musing about freedom vs order with a Christan backdrop. This is essentially a piece of a fic I will never fully write out, but the lore should still be easy to understand despite this only being like a page long.
> 
> (World is split into 2 groups and they're fighting over what's more important. A climactic battle takes place in New Eden where the winner gets to decide whether or not they'll burn the Garden to the ground and run free and wild, or if everyone will sacrifice their choice and remain there forever in eerily perfect docility).


	4. Great and Mighty Creator

O great and mighty Creator, you will never know peace.

For as long as you live, you are cursed to always be hungry and never be free.

You have been gifted with the talent of the gods.

You bring forth life and order from chaos against all odds.

You craft, create and make.

You control lives, stories, destiny and fate.

But yet you are still trapped and powerless.

You couldn't expect to take your gift and walk debtless.

Instead, awaiting you is a much higher cost.

One that leaves you feeling restless, endless, tormented and lost.

For all your days you will continue to create.

But this will soon become a bitter fate.

You will never rest nor sleep nor complete.

There will always be more you wish to achieve.

In the limited time you have with this life,

It just won't be enough to cease your strife.

For every project you get done,

Along comes a sea of ideas for another one.

Even when you think your work is finished,

You won't find your restless drive even a little bit diminished.

Instead, you will spend your days in limbo.

Roaming through the world like a lost soul.

You'll come and go and be here and there.

You'll take and make things from anyone anywhere.

But it still won't be enough to fill the restless hunger.

Which comes from bearing the burdensome title of creator.

It's all part of the package deal

To never be free from that endless, restless appeal.

You wish to make more and more and more

And you will not stop until you cross death's door.

But tell me, O great and mighty Creator

Do you think the gift is worth the anger?

Does a creator love their craft enough to pay such a toll?

Or is the opinion of the creator either way left null?

O great and mighty Creator, you will never know peace.

For as long as you live, you are cursed to always be hungry and never be free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This is just me whining dramatically about how every time I think I'm done posting a story, 1000 new ideas pop up right afterwards. The work of a creator is never done and we are always hungry, never satisfied. I know this doesn't quite fit a religious motif, per se, but it could if you ever wonder about the nature/personality of any potential god and if they ever feel the same frustrated fire any creator does. I'd be pissed if I were God, endlessly creating and never truly finished, LOL


	5. Lonely at the Top

"Do you ever think God gets lonely?" The Inventor asked her little robot creation/assistant.

"Huh?" came the blank reply.

"Do you ever think God gets lonely?" The Inventor repeated.

"I have never really thought about it, to be honest," the bot said. Its creator heaved a tired sigh.

"Didn't think so," she muttered under her breath.

A brief silence passed between the pair, the robot unsure of what to ask and The Inventor still formulating a reply to the question that hadn't even been asked yet. But after a minute or so, The Inventor heaved another tired sigh before answering what the robot had failed to ask.

"I can't help but wonder," she began, "if God ever feels lonely. I know I would. Being all alone up there at the top…" she paused to frown.

"But he is not alone," the robot chirped. "He has his angels."

"That is only true to some extent," The Inventor replied gently. "You know it is possible to feel alone in a crowd. I imagine God feels the same way despite all of his Heavenly Host."

"And why do you think God would ever feel lonely in a crowd?" the robot asked.

"Because he is not like them. He is not like the others. He is not like the kind that make up his crowd," The Inventor stole a glance at her little robot assistant and sighed before continuing in her explanation.

"You see, God is like a different species entirely. The relationship between him and his angels is the same one between us. Creator and creation. Everything in existence was made by him. He has no equal. Everything is only what is inside of his mind. Yes, he is surrounded by all of his creations at all times, but none of them are quite on his level. There is a difference between being surrounded by equals and being surrounded by creations. I think perhaps the one thing that God may want most of all is the one thing he will never ever be able to have: a true companion."

The Inventor trailed off. The point she was trying to make was painfully clear, but because her robot was not programmed to understand implicature of that degree, it only shrugged its metal shoulders.

"Perhaps," it said. "But I do now know the mind of God."

"I know," The Inventor heaved another sigh, feeling her heart break just a little more that her nearest and dearest companion did not quite understand her. She could try to explain 1000 different ways and the robot would still take it at face value as a mere thought experiment rather than a painful parallel between this potential interpretation of God and The Inventor herself.

The Inventor was not quite sure how to describe her religious life. She had been born and raised Christian and knew all the stories and customs, but she never felt the deep sense of spirituality that it felt like the rest of her community sometimes had. She was sure that there were others like her, but because most people only talked about religion on Sunday, she never had much time to verify. But outside of her own religious convictions, because of what The Inventor did, the parallels between herself and the (potential) Divine were always painfully clear. The symbolism was so obvious even a blind person would be able to see it.

And perhaps that was what The Inventor was doing. She was transferring/projecting herself onto this religious concept in attempt to find solace in something, anything, because God knew (pun intended) she wasn't able to connect with anyone else very well.

"Connecting gears and wires all day every day and I couldn't connect with another human if God himself came down from Heaven to give me the key!" The Inventor whispered to herself as she turned back to her latest mechanical miracle. It was a beautiful creation, but today, it felt more like an obligation than a passion. The Inventor worked dutifully on it, but for once, her heart (and soul if she had one) was not in it. Instead, she was only going through the motions, mind very, very far away from her clockwork workshop.

She had heard it said that man had been made in God's image. Did that mean that every evil or depressing trait in humanity was part and parcel of God himself? Sure, some would argue that negative traits were of the Devil, but The Inventor still couldn't help but wonder. Sometimes she had temperamental fits and lashed out in anger. Other times she fell into depressive states that could last weeks at a time. Sometimes she simply felt lonely, like no matter where she went, she never quite fit in. Did God ever feel the same way? When God made man in his image, did that mean God could suffer from anger and depression too? It was a silly (and maybe even blasphemous) theory, but The Inventor liked to ponder it nonetheless. It was a small comfort to her, and small was better than nothing in her mind.

Besides, she had meant what she had said to her little assistant. It truly was lonely at the top. She was one of the brightest minds of her age and yet she would've given all of her wit up in a heartbeat if only she could be promised a real human connection in return. Brains meant nothing if there was no heart or soul to go along with them. The Inventor gladly would've given up her bright mind for a brighter heart or spirit. She was practically a goddess amongst her people because of her vast intellect, but she didn't want to be a goddess. She wanted to be an equal and a friend. She wanted people to love her for who she truly was, and not what they perceived her as. It was lonely at the top, truly it was. All they ever saw was The Inventor, rather than the human woman behind it.

She did love all of her creations dearly, but like she had said, there was a difference between being surrounded by her brainchildren and other, real people. If Christianity was true, then God had no escape or respite from this type of loneliness. The Inventor found herself pitying him greatly. Maybe that was why he was so prone to fits in the Bible? He was just lashing out out of loneliness, because at the end of the day, his people would never truly be on his level. What a lonely life to live, only creations for company rather than a real and true equal.

The Inventor knew all too well about how it was lonely at the top and how much she'd give it all up to truly feel like she belonged, and that she was being seen for who she truly was rather than just what others perceived. But like God, she felt just as trapped and helpless. How could she change the mind of the entire town? How could she extricate herself from her work and the perceptions that surrounded it, but without having to give up her job? Because in truth, she really did like inventing, creating and building. She just wished it wasn't such a lonely life. And she wished that it didn't place such a huge wedge between herself and the outside. It was like she operated on a different wave frequency and it sucked!

God, it was lonely at the top. It was lonely being different. It wasn't fun, hip, cool, trendy or unique. It was tiresome and burdensome, a constant worry and strain. There was nothing fun about being truly different. And in that moment, the woman with no name felt closer to the God with too many. She still wasn't sure of her religious standings, but if she knew that if God were anything like she thought (or maybe hoped) he was just as lonely and miserable as she was. This thought was of small comfort to her, but small was better than nothing. It was lonely at the top, so she was going to either try to make room, or she would seek out another top to join. Anything to get rid of the loneliness and isolation. The Inventor continued to work long through the night, alone, with only the silence for company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Inspired off a post I saw that interpreted God as being quite lonely and that idea resonated with me enough for me to do this. Let me know what y'all think!


	6. The Growth of God

From what she understood, evolution and growth were linear. Things started out small, simple and weak, then over time, they became big, strong and complex. But there was one place where this seemingly-universal and logical law was sometimes broken: in places of worship. Nearly every religion and creation story was built upon the idea that some superior entity existed before anything else, and that all the rest of the universe came forth from that singular being.

Under this viewpoint, only an entity of superior power and control could create things, because they could only create lesser beings. It was why the gods were almost always the strongest characters within any given mythology, because just as a parent "creates" and rules over their child (superior in body and mind), so too would a god rule over their creations.

Perhaps it seemed obvious. Of course only a creature of greater power could create anything, because creation was a descending staircase. The creator was always superior to the creation… Right? Well, the Reader was beginning to question this old theory…

"Even in mythologies where we are expected to accept that inferior beings descended from superior ones, the word "descended" even being a key part in this ideology, there are instances where we see simpler creatures being made first. Across several creation myths from around the world, plants and animals were created before humanity, and humans have always been seen as some of the most superior creatures on Earth.

"Does that not then suggest that, in actuality, it is the small that creates the big? The weak that creates the strong? Perhaps creation is not a descending staircase, but rather, an _ascending_ staircase. After all, we can see it happening in real-time right now! Even though parents are dominant over their children, isn't it the hope and expectation of everyone that, one day, ideally, the children will become the superior ones? And I don't mean that the children shall one day rule over their parents, but rather, children are expected to do and be better than their parents. We expect each new generation of society to be an improvement upon the last, an ascending staircase.

"And even on a more abstract level, what is a society but an amalgamation of smaller units coming together to create a larger, stronger, more efficient unit? And there have been theories surrounding the concept of the technological singularity, the point in which technology becomes so advanced that it self-regulate and self-improves even faster than human ever could. We have the building blocks, and in my wildest dreams, a few millennium could pass and the robots may manage to take those building blocks to create a hivemind for us all, living or deceased, to coexist even after the end of everything. I know that's a laughably far-fetched idea, but who can say what the future holds? I'm sure people who lived just a century or two ago could've never foreseen the life we all live today!

"But I'm digressing. My point is that, because we see how growth and creation are ascensions, improvements, upgrades, increases, perhaps gods do not exist yet, but maybe they will _someday_. Maybe the concept of godhood is just a glimpse into our future, into what we will evolve into. And on a metaphorical and spiritual level, I actually believe this to be true. After all, look at me. I call myself the Reader, because that is all that I am. A consumer. A user. I take what exists before me and use it to shape myself. I am self-creating. But it is my hope that I, one day, shall become an Author. A Writer. A Creator.

"So perhaps that's the story of the growth of a god. We start off small, little individuals that consume and observe existence around us. But after we grow up, it becomes our turn to shine in the spotlight and we use all that we acquired in the past to become Creators and Makers in our own right. Maybe that's the cycle of life. We are all mini gods, our own deities, we're just still growing into the role. All of us are at the stage of being consumers of art. But maybe one day, we'll ascend to become the makers of that art, and on that day, that shall be when we become God."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Random ramble about how we may one day become God (whether through technological hivemind or spiritual evolution) because I find it funny that some of God's titles include things like Maker, Creator and Author and one of the things that deeply connect humanity with and to itself is the act of consuming, sharing and creating art (be it music, story, or other).
> 
> And the creation myths I referred to at the start of the story include things from Christianity, Hinduism, the ancient Greeks, several Native American cultures and Celtic, Nordic, Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Chinese and Aztec lore.


End file.
